How To Get Your Child Looking And Planning Ahead

Let's just be honest, planning can be challenging even for adults. Whether it is for long term (financial, education, estate, healthcare, retirement) or short term (vacation, events, activities, meals) planning is necessary to help us manage our lives and ensure that our current and future needs are met.

What Makes Planning Challenging

There are many reasons why we find planning challenging:

• It is a process- Planning involves defining objectives, reviewing and analyzing information, implementing actions to meet the objectives, resource allocation, setting timelines, and monitoring progress.

  
  

• It requires both forethought and foresight- We have to both anticipate future needs and predict the impact that our current decisions will have on future outcomes.

  
  

• It requires flexibility- Not everything will go according to plan, so a contingency plan may be needed. If we have invested the effort in creating a "sound" plan, we may find the unpredictable situations that arise frustrating.

  
  

• It requires commitment- Commitment is needed for plan creation, implementation, execution, and follow up.

  
  

• Too many decisions- Planning is a detailed process and there are many decisions that need to be made. This can cause us to feel overwhelmed.

  
  

• It Requires time- The process of planning requires time and this is difficult to give when we already have tons of other things on our plates.

  
  

• Unclear goals or objectives- If our goals or objectives are not clear, this can make it difficult to create a focused and actionable plan.

  
  

• Feelings of "not being a good planner" or that "planning is not my thing"- Having self-defeating or insecure thoughts before we even start the process.

These are some of the common planning challenges we encounter as adults. If you want to aid your child in planning, you will also need to consider their particular challenges:

• Their brains are still developing- The prefrontal cortex does not fully develop until around the age of 25. It is the area of the brain responsible for complex cognitive processes such as planning, decision making, problem solving, impulse control, and other executive functions.

  
  

• They are easily distracted- The prefrontal cortex is also responsible for attention control. Because their young brain is still maturing, children can be easily distracted and this may cause them to deviate from a plan.

  
  

• They have limited experience and outlook- Children have limited experience to reference when it comes to making decisions and it can be difficult for them to think ahead and see beyond their immediate wants and needs.

  
  

• Difficulty breaking down and prioritizing tasks- Children struggle with both visualizing the steps needed to complete a task and understanding the order of steps in a task. This can make it difficult for them to create a plan.

Tips for Teaching Your Child How to Plan

It may seem with all of the above mentioned challenges that getting your child looking ahead and planning will be an uphill climb, but the climb may not be as steep if you keep the following tips in mind:

• Make the planning process relevant and fun- Start with a task that your child will be interested in planning (ex. their birthday party). If they have an interest in the task then they won't mind dedicating time to the process.

• Create plan options- Identify the main goal with your child and list potential options for achieving it. Discuss the pros and cons for each plan option and guide them in making the best choice. This is a great way to engage your child in discussion and give them an opportunity to weigh their options and make decisions. If we are using the example of planning their birthday party, let's say the goal is to "host a sports-themed birthday party". The options would be to host the party at home, have it outdoors at a local park, or book a venue for the event.

  
  

  • The pros for hosting the party at home could be: You do not need to pay a deposit to book the venue, you do not have to reserve the space in advance, there are no limited dates for availability, the environment is less crowded and more personable.

  • The cons of hosting the party at home could be: You will have to set up and decorate your home space for the event, you will need to clean up at the end of the event, you will have to plan activities and entertainment, there is limited space given the number of potential guests, there is limited street parking for guests .

  • Make a list of pros and cons for the remaining options: having the party at a local park and booking a venue. Once you have reviewed the pros and cons for all three options, you and your child can make a decision.

• Finalize the goal and break it into smaller tasks- Once you both have selected the best plan option, it is time to finalize the goal and break it into smaller tasks. The final goal should specify exactly what your objective is, be clear and concise, and include a deadline date. If you agreed to host the party at home, the new goal could be to "host an at home sports-themed birthday party with 25 attending guests on January 18". Now that the goal is set, it is time to brainstorm and list the smaller tasks that you need to complete in order to reach it. Remember when you are brainstorming, do not worry about listing the tasks in the order that they need to be performed .

  
  

• Prioritize your list of smaller tasks - Use the guidelines from my previous post titled Putting The TO DO In Your To-Do List to help you in prioritizing your list of tasks. You can also create sequencing cards by writing each task on a separate flashcard, and asking your child to help you place the cards in sequential order. Once they are in order, you can assign due dates to the tasks. The sequencing activity would be a fun way to use visual aids and make the process interactive.

  
  

• Discuss potential obstacles- Identify potential stumbling blocks as you work through your list of tasks . I would also suggest a conversation about Murphy's Law and why it is important to adhere to assigned due dates and not wait until the last minute to complete actions on the task list.

  
  

• Post the task list and check off the actions as they are completed- Post the task list in a location where both you and your child can view it and have access to it. Have your child assist you in both completing actions and checking completed actions off on the list.

  
  

• Keep things simple- Make sure that you and your child walk before you run. Start by making small plans and move to bigger more involved ones as your child gets more familiar and confident with the process.

  
  

• Have a positive attitude- Energy is powerful. If your child senses that you are frustrated with the process, then they will become frustrated too.

  
  

• Share your experience- Give examples of things that you have planned. Share what went well, what did not go well, and how you used both positive and negative experiences to help you improve your planning strategy.

  
  

• Create open paths for communication- Get your child involved and actively participating in the process by asking them questions and getting their input. For example, when creating plan options for the birthday party you could ask. "What location options do we have for hosting the party ?", "What are some of the pros and cons for hosting the party at home ?". When breaking the goal into smaller tasks you could ask, "Now that we have decided to host the party at home, what are some of the things we will need to do in order to prepare for the party ?", etc.

  
  

• Use positive reinforcement- Make sure to give your child positive feedback and plenty of praise throughout the planning process.

  
  

  Planning is a life skill and one that your child will appreciate you sharing with them (more so when they are adults). In this blog post, I used hosting an at home birthday party as a simple and fun plan example. Some other events that your child can plan include: family vacations, school projects, home projects, play dates, family outings (ex: trip to the movie theater or picnic), the family calendar, weekly meal plans, the family chore schedule, a community event, they can even plan and manage their own budget (I will cover this in my next blog post!). The planning opportunities are endless. I cannot stress enough that you both start small and work your way up. Planning can be a huge undertaking, so remember to keep it light and keep it fun!