The Homework Blues

The struggle is real. Getting your child to do their homework can feel like an endless game of tug-of-war. As a parent I can relate, so you are definitely not alone. Here are some helpful tips to get your child to change their tune when it comes to the homework blues:

Make Homework a Priority:

Homework not only reinforces the lessons learned in school but also imparts life skills such as time management, prioritizing tasks, and fulfilling commitments and responsibilities. Going to school and finishing school assignments is important so it's okay for you to set the expectation that their homework needs to be completed before they engage in playtime and social activities. Setting homework as an important priority early on can help minimize arguments later. Make sure to stand firm and be consistent.

Find a Common Ground:

The term "work" refers to the effort required to accomplish something. Throughout their lives, your child will encounter numerous situations where they must exert effort. It's crucial to be upfront and honest: not all work is enjoyable. At times, the tasks may be difficult, might not pique their interest, could push them beyond their comfort zone, or they might even find the topic dull. Nonetheless, the work must still be completed.

Inform them that, as an adult in the workplace, you also need to finish projects and tasks that can be challenging and you may not enjoy doing them, yet you are still obligated to complete them. This allows you to relate to and empathize with their feelings. Encourage them to share examples of their current tasks, and in return, share some of your own. This approach fosters communication, camaraderie, encourages dialogue, helps to build a shared experience, and finds common ground.

Establish Performance Goals:

Encourage your child to establish objectives for their homework performance. These goals could include submitting all assignments on time each semester, aiming to achieve a certain percentage of accuracy on each task, or consistently finishing assignments two days before the deadline. This approach provides them with targets to pursue, helping to maintain their motivation and concentration.

Give Them a Break (Literally):

Following a lengthy day at school, your child likely won't want to dive into homework immediately. Allow them a moment to unwind and enjoy a quick snack before beginning their assignments. This provides them with nourishment (fuel they will need for concentration) and offers a mental break from their day. Ensure the break duration is consistent each day and, if possible, occurs at the same time.

Schedule a Set Time for Homework:

Maintain a consistent start time for homework each day. This consistency will help your child establish a routine and cultivate effective study habits. The act of sitting down to work will eventually become second nature.

Don't Hover:

Keep the helicopter on the flight deck. Allow your child some space while they work on their assignments. Stay nearby in case they need help (I am usually in the kitchen preparing dinner while my son is at the table doing his "practice") and let them know they can call you if needed. The aim is to boost their confidence and enable them to work independently. If you hover, they might perceive it as a lack of confidence in their abilities, and if they sense that, they won't feel confident in themselves.

Be In-The-Know:

Check online classrooms to stay informed about your child's school activities and upcoming deadlines for assignments and projects. This isn't about snooping or spying. I am open about my involvement, and my son is fully aware of it. As a parent, it's important to have this information to determine if additional resources, materials, or support are needed to help them succeed. You can use this as a conversation starter, "Hey, I saw you have a project due in a couple of weeks. Do you need any supplies or materials to complete it?".

Reward Positive Habits:

In our home, Wednesday is dubbed "Woohoo! Wednesday." It's the day our schools in our district have early dismissal. If my son finishes all his assignments for the week (even those due later), he gets to choose a fun activity to enjoy on Wednesday after school. Acknowledging effective study habits will positively reinforce them and foster a positive atmosphere when it's time for homework.

Name Change:

Homework is essentially "work from school that your child completes at home," but this connection might be why your child finds it challenging. They are at home, and schoolwork is encroaching on their personal space and time after school hours. A few years back, my husband suggested calling homework "practice," which was a brilliant idea. When you practice something, you are spending extra time to enhance a skill or doing something repeatedly to improve. At home, they are simply practicing to reinforce what they have learned. This simple name change may help shift their perspective.

Use an Analogy:

Select an analogy that engages your child or provides a clear example of the significance of practice in skill development. Sports analogies are frequently used because they are relatable. Even if your child doesn't play a sport, they might enjoy watching a game live or on TV. Athletes cross-train to build strength and endurance. For instance, a basketball player will run and lift weights to enhance their performance on the court. If you ask any athlete whether they enjoy every part of their training or practice, they'll likely say "no," but they recognize it as essential for improving their overall performance. Similarly, your child doesn't have to enjoy every assignment they complete, but they are acquiring important skills that can be applied to other areas and are integral to their success.

Make the Connection:

Explain to them the skills that they are learning and how they can benefit them now, in the future, and in other areas of interest. Connect the dots to help them see the big picture.

Set the Example:

Are there any work-related skills you are working on to practice and improve? If yes, talk about them with your child and demonstrate how you are implementing your plan. You will inspire them with your commitment and show that you are leading by example, doing what you encourage them to do.

Make Learning a Topic of Conversation:

Show curiosity about their studies by posing questions. You might ask something straightforward like, "What are you learning in History?" Stay involved in the discussion and offer remarks such as "I recall learning that in school" or "I didn't learn about that in school, it sounds fascinating. Could you explain it to me?"

Have Them Flip-The-Script:

Children typically begin with the subject or assignment they enjoy most, leaving the one they like least for last. This often leads to them using up all their energy and effort at the start, leaving none for the end. Encourage them to tackle the tasks they like the least first and save their favorites for last. This way, they can focus their energy on finishing the challenging assignments and have something to look forward to at the end.

Help Them to Strike A Balance:

The guideline in my household is that your study time should equal your playtime. This simple method helps assess whether you have a balance between work and quality of life, and it can also allow your child to determine if they have a similar balance.

Pair Them with a Study Buddy:

Children have the ability to motivate their peers. I noticed this when my son was younger and beginning to learn how to swim. He had pool play dates with a friend of the same age who was more proficient at swimming. Naturally, he wanted to keep up with her in the pool, so he adapted his skills to match hers. If your child has a friend who excels in an area where they need improvement, they could potentially collaborate and learn from one another. They likely share a similar viewpoint and can connect with each other, making the exchange of communication and information easier.

Don't Make Comparisons:

Just because subjects are taught differently from how you learned them doesn't imply the new approach is inferior, so refrain from making comparisons. Saying this isn't how I learned it or this isn't how they taught it when I was younger undermines the lesson your child is receiving and suggests the material is incorrect or flawed. Instead of insisting it's not how you learned it, be receptive to the new method. Reach out to your child's teacher for clarification. Don't hesitate to ask for help. If your child observes you being open to learning new things and seeking assistance when you don't understand something, they will do the same.

I hope these tips help your child start their practice (a.k.a. homework) on a brighter note!